Monday, February 23, 2009

He cares

My husband said that he came to by blog today to read my diary and there was nothing there. He was sad. I was shocked. My husband hates to read, like so much that he makes me read sub titles out loud when we are watching Hero's.
And even though he hates reading, he likes to read this. He is interested in my deepest innermost thoughts. He thinks I am interesting and funny and well, I think he just might be in love with me.

I have had the biggest crush on him since the moment we met. And now it looks like he might like me too. Oh man do I feel lucky.

When I first met him 8 years ago, he was introducing himself and I was talking to him and his brother. Every time I looked at Hubby, he was looking at me like he was in love with me. I knew he liked me. But he never asked me out. I wanted him to ask me to date him but he did not ask.

So months later I invited him over to my house with a group to play games. He came and we were playing games and when the evening ended, he and I were alone in the room, I looked at him across the room and I could tell again, in his eyes that he loved me. So I walked across the room took his face in my hands and kissed him. We stood kissing for a bit then I backed away and he said thank you. What a polite fella.

He later asked me out and the rest is history. But I have always been the one to make the moves. So it just feels great to see that he is interested enough in me to read this blog. Hey babe. I love you too.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Oh by the way.

I found the remote the next day.

I found it. Not "Crazy, Irate, husband with 'Lost' Withdrawals."

Am I the best wife or what.
Where was it?
It was in the couch, He looked there a hundred times, even turned it over, but I was the one who knew how to search.

Wow another talent I did not know I had. I am so talented.

Thank goodness for Prozac and God

So I have to thank all of you who were so nice in my post last week about my sadness. I have come to realize that there are just things that you have no control over. Other people for instance. And they can hurt you but you choose how you are going to think about life. You decide how you respond. I have decided to keep on going with this crazy life and live it to the fullest I possibly can.

I was so depressed for a while there, and knew immediately that I needed to get on medications so I did not go to a terrible place. Since I have a great doctor, I am on Prozac again and I am doing very well. Meds help truly they do but...

I do have to say I credit my Father in Heaven because he has given me great peace. I am going to survive this with the peace that only he can give. He truly changed my heart. My husband and I were able to rely on him, go to him, and although the situation is still the same, I now feel that I will survive and prosper and that it is all part of his plan. He as wonderful things to teach me and I am learning so much about myself, about love, about him and how much he loves me and each one of us.

It was also something else to feel all of you caring for me, a struggling soul. You don't know me in the real life but the things you said the heartfelt concern you had touched me and helped in my healing. Thanks.

My husband is also so amazing. I know this time is hard for him too, but he is so good to me, holding me when I need him, giving me space when I need that too. He is remarkable and I love you so much honey.

I have found peace.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Will you go crazy if you lose it? He is going crazy.

My husband is going crazy. The remote is lost. We didn't watch TV today and so I have no idea where it is but he is steaming mad. He has turned over all the couches, dumped out all the drawers, baskets, boxes in the toy room. He has made a huge mess and still no remote control for the TV. I can't blame him, he really needs to watch a show that is on the DVR. Yes, it is LOST. Pretty Ironic huh. LOST the TV show. Get it. He wants to watch LOST and the remote is Lost.

So he is still mumbling, stewing about looking, searching but never finding. He even woke up one of our kids to enlist them in the search hoping that they might know where the remote was. No luck after 50 min. I sent that child back to bed.

He just emptied out the trash can by hand looking through it piece by piece. It is pretty sad to watch him on the ground on his belly searching for this tiny little miracle of technology. Poor guy. I was helping him look, I really was but he was too irate and I can not handle that, so I told him I was not going to help him unless he calmed down. He didn't so now I am writing a blog.

He may come over and throw the computer soon, he is pretty miffed that he can not find that darn remote. I hope he gives up soon.

Wow, I am pretty impressed by his strength. He is under one of the couches lifting it with with one hand. I married one buff guy.

You know how most men are possessive of the remote, well my guy isn't. He actually hands it too me when I join him on the couch, if has it that is. He never asks for it, ever. He lets me have it. It is one of his very best qualities. Especially since I love to control the remote. He totally thinks I am better at remote controlling. I pick the best shows and can watch several at a time (back before DVR's) So he is a stud. I just hope that we find that remote.

You know what would be a cool invention. To have a beeper on the remote. (like they have on phones) So you push a button on the main device for example the TV or DVR. The remote goes off and beeps until you find it. Don't you think that is a cool invention. I just wish that one of those people who design remotes and their prospective devices listens to the humble request of a avid TV watcher.

Then I would not have a husband who is going crazy. He cant watch LOST because it is Lost.

Monday, February 9, 2009

What to do?

I am not feeling very happy right now. Things are hard on me, I am sad. Bad stuff is happening in my life and I am powerless to control it. It is hard to get on here and write, I think I need to be funny and entertain. But I have to remember that I started this blog as a diary, to help me. So I am not going to really be funny today. Sorry.

When things get out of control and I cant do anything to change it. I have to change the way I think about the situation. Which is hard because I am human and prone to human passions. Still I am trying. I want to not be so angry at those that hurt me and not want to hurt them back.

I want to go Kung fu on them (as Crash would say).

I was talking to my sister and telling her that I really want to not be so angry. She told me it is going to be hard. She said that her daughter has some problems at her school. She was student body president and was caught using her cell phone at school ( her Period had started and she went to the bathroom to call her mom to bring her some clothes). Well the assistant (ass.) Principal called her into her office and my niece lied and said that she did not use the phone. So the ass. Principal decided that since she wanted someone else in that position who had not won that she would relieve my niece from office and appoint the other girl.

My sister was furious. She went to talk to the lady and the lady put her hand in up to her face and said she was not going to talk to her. The decision had been made, she had made the announcement over the intercom and it was final. Now leave.

Her husband talked to her later that night and said he would not bail her out of Jail if she got arrested, and she better stay at home instead of going back to the school. My sister said to this day she is furious and had never felt like she could actually take a gun an kill someone until this woman. She said, if she could she would have this woman murdered.

It has been months since the incident and she has yet to murder the ass. principal. But she has her fury still.

I don't want to kill the people who are causing me and my family harm. Yet. They are just doing what they think is right. But I am struggling at where to put my anger and how to control this rage and fury inside of me. Many people are praying for me and my family. I hope that I can come out of this terrible situation a better person.

Friday, February 6, 2009

I got it.

My ring is here, I picked it up today. Oh my goodness, I love it. Some of you wanted to see a picture so I am putting one on. OOOoooh how lucky am I. I love that man of mine.

When ever I hear the song of a bird....

There is a primary song that I feel represents this day....

When ever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue blue sky
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
or the wind as it rushes by
When ever I touch a velvet rose
or walk by a lilac tree
Im glad that I live in this beautiful World
Heavenly father created for me.

I love this world, this life, these little beings I get to love and who love me every day.

I wish they would stop making me clean up their poop, and stop throwing crazy 3 hour long fits. But other than that it is a pretty cool life and world. Don't you think?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Excitement galor

Remember how I broke my ring.
Well I went to get it fixed and it turns out it is going to be almost 1000 to fix it because one of the diamonds is chipped. Bummer huh, well you would think that but you would be wrong

My husband decided to upgrade my ring, trade in the old one (they gave us trade in, in the exact amount of purchase) and upgraded to a bigger ring. I was like. "Baby NO, I love my ring", so he found the exact same ring just with bigger diamonds, purchased the lifetime warranty, and I get it on Friday.

I am so excited!!!! The real reason he did it, I think, is to get a lifetime warranty. Apparently, I am destructo-girl when it comes to my wedding ring. I have chipped two different diamonds, cracked the gold once, am constantly needing to get the diamonds tightened as they come loose so much. So he figures that upgrading and buying the warranty will totally be worth it in the end.

Hubby says he is buying the ring for me because I "deserve it, since I am an awesome mom and wife."

Smart idea to say that instead of, I am buying it because you are destructo-girl.