My First Kiss

I dreamed of being sweet sixteen and never been kissed. When I was 8 I made it a personal goal to wait until I was sixteen to really kiss a boy.

I had played kissing tag in elementary and kissed this kid, Brent on the merry go round but I really felt that once I got baptized I was a VL girl and vowed to wait until I was sixteen to kiss.

Well at 13 I got a boyfriend. Jayson was so cute and every girl wanted to be with him, but he was mine. He was older than me and was in high school, so he would ride his bike to my Jr high every day and walk me home from school.

It was funny, he would walk me home while holding onto his bike, with his arm around my shoulders, we must have looked pretty lame, but I was in heaven.

Well shortly after becoming his girl, Jayson started asking to kiss me. I told him no and how I wanted to be sweet sixteen. He was cool with that, but continued to ask me occasionally. He did not wait around really, he remained true to me, but dated other girls too, after all he was in high school and had dance and such. I know he kissed other girls and it was weird that I was OK with this, because he still told me he loved me and that it was hard to wait but he would.

When I was writing that I thought, how lame. I was really fine with him kissing others girls? Like men need to be kissed, so if you don't give it to them, then it is OK if they cheat on you. I really did think it was OK. Strange. Well I was only thirteen so I guess ideas about relationships were new to me.

One time, during church, Jayson sent his friend to tell me to meet him in one of the primary rooms. I did and he practically begged me to kiss him. His theory was that he had just gotten braces and need to see if he could still kiss. (good ploy huh, I bet he and his buddies took hours to think that up.) I told him no and that he would have to wait. He was mad.

I was speaking in church about Love that day and after the meeting was over, people were coming up to me telling me I did a good job, like people do to be nice. Well Jayson, swooped in and said "You don't know anything about Love" I remember it vividly, was shocked and hurt and walked away.

He then went and kissed a new girl who had just started coming to our church. She became my dearest enemy from them on. He of course dumped her a month later and came crawling back to me. I took him back. We were soul mates I thought.

So he kept waiting, year after year. Until I was fifteen. Then something awful happened. This is too long of a post so I will tell you more tomorrow.