Monday, January 26, 2009

Evil Brother

I think my eldest brother, jerk face, was psycho when I was growing up. Either that, or he hated his little sister and wanted her dead so he could be the center of attention again.

I was 18 months younger than him and he began torturing me at a young age. I remember him beating me up, which is fine because I was never afraid of a good fight since fighting him made me so strong.

Sibling rivalry is normal and all so I get that but...

Jerk face did some crazy mean things.

One time I let him bury me in the sandbox. I so wanted him to like me that I did most things he told me to. Well after I was completely buried up to my head with no means of escape he began the torture. No he did not leave me there to rot, or get sunburned. I knew you were thinking that.

He took a big shovel and put it down by where my feet might have been and said, "tell me when I chop off a toe." Then jumped on the shovel, driving it down through the sand. Luckily it missed my toe. But he did not stop. He inched it closer and said "tell me when I chop off a toe." and jumped again. I was screaming NO and wishing he would stop before he did actually chop off a toe. It was on his fifth attempt that he cut my toe off. Not the whole toe, just the tip, there was blood and I was screaming. He took me inside, rinsed it off and put on a band aid. He told me not to tell my parents or I would get into trouble. I never did. I have a pretty cool scar on the tip of my right big toe

I did tell my parents about all his torture tactics when I was a grown up and they were shocked.

Here is another one....

Jerk face and I used to play this game where we could not touch the ground in the house. So we would jump from furniture so as not to touch the carpet. We would do a kind of follow the leader type of game. Well we were on one edge of the couch and he was leading, he told me to cross my arms and fall straight down on the couch. He said I had to go first.

I did, and came up screaming, there was a pair of scissors sticking out of my thigh. He had put them there to see what would happen if If I feel on them. They were in a good inch. I was wearing shorts and once again a lot of blood when he pulled them out.

He told me I was going to be in so much trouble if my parents found out that we were jumping on the couch. He bandaged me up and had me put on long pants. Once again my parents never found out.

So psycho don't you think? I do.

Now that we are older, he and I have talked about what he did to me, and he has apologized and we are great friends now. He turned into a successful, rich, happy man with a great family and a super career.

Strange huh. After those stories you would think he would have ended up in jail or a mental hospital, but he turned out OK. And so did I. Just goes to show that sibling rivalry is completely normal.


Erin said...

Wow, that kind of makes me scared for my kids!!

Kristina P. said...

I'm the oldest and my brother is 2years younger than me. I remember being in high school and he and I got into a serious fist fight. I have no idea why or what it was about.

Anjeny said...

OMG..that is some sibling rivalry.

I have seven brothers and the one closest to my age is three years older than me. He was the one who was the baby for a long time so when I came to be, he did not like me taking all that attention away from him.

He used to torture and beat me up when we were growing up...oh I fought back alright but of course his punches were a lot more painful than my scratches.

Weird thing though is even when were constantly fighting, he was always the first one to come to my aide or bail me out when I'm in trouble. Every kid in my town and school are scared to make me unhappy cuz of him...he would beat anyone up, boys and girls alike, if any of them so much as stuck their tongue at me. Go figure.

I'm glad you and ur brother are really good friends now.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally never leaving my kids alone with each other ever again!

momof3crazykids said...

That is totally scary. If my kid did that I would probably contemplate putting them in the hospital.
Though one of my brothers that is 6 years younger than me was always mean to me when I had to babysit my siblings. I remember one time he chased me with a knife. That was the last time I watched them. After that I told my parents no more. I think I was almost 16, then I got a job and worked as much as I could so I wouldn't have to be home with them.
To this day, he is still somewhat of a jerk.

Ann Marie said...

Oh this sounds like something that could have gone on in our house..

I am the oldest of six though, so I was the one in charge!

Thank goodness we just had a lesson for FHE and told the kids " IF ANYONE tells you to not tell Mom and Dad.. Tell Mom and Dad."
And yes.. they will because we scared them...

* I am almost 35! :)

Jami said...

You're making that up!!! What a horrid brother. What a freaky psycho.

I guess I don't feel so bad about my kids tattletale-ing ways now.

So now that he's rich and repentant is he paying for your therapy?

Jen said...

Wow. I've been threatening to rat my brother out on my blog, but he never actually hurt me - his specialties wer fear, shock, and obnoxiousness.

I can't believe he chopped off your toe. And you didn't tell. And that he's normal. Crazy!

sara said...

Oh my goodness, that's so scary. My sister cut off my finger - but it was a complete accident. (I think)
Glad he's normal now.

Blissful Babe said...

That is so awful!! I thought my brother and I were bad, dang.

Glad you have a good relationship with him now, though. :)

Thanks for the comment love!!


wendy said...

Nothing like sibling rivarly --Cain and Abel. (well, NOT that bad) It is funny when you get older to look back at all the stories, but we grow out of it (hopefully) I used to stick carrots up my sisters nose, and once it went up to far, I got a steak knife and tried digging it out!!!!!!! We are best friends.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Scary. Normal. Crazy.
That's all I can say!

Nobody said...

In some ways, this scares me. Cuz that's pretty awful stuff he did. In other ways, it makes me happy to know my kids are normal. Ish. My son goes out of his way to terrorize my daughter. And he's a totally mellow, easy-going, insanely obedient kid. But when it comes to his sister, he's crazy.

But she's crazy too, so I have a hard time feeling sorry for either of them.

It does bug me, and I had a brother who was emotionally cruel to me (when we were teens) and I vowed I would never let anything even remotely close to that happen between my kids. So I'm kind of hard on them when they do fight.

But the fact that you turned out to be a perfectly lovely secret blogger who can make me laugh and can construct good, complete, coherent sentences that aren't in any way in danger of becoming run-ons, and he's a respectable adult and you have a good relationship, does make me feel better.

And that was the purpose of this post, right?

p.s. Jerk face made me laugh every time I read it.